


shut your mouth (and run me like a river)

by sacrednut



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Actually It’s Not Really Cheating But Rey Thinks It Is, Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Anal Play, And She Doesn't Give A Fuck, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Baz and Rey are roommates, Be Quiet So We Don’t Get Caught, Ben Solo Has Big Dick Energy, Ben Solo Has a Dirty Mouth, Ben Solo has a Big Dick, Cheating (neither Ben nor Rey cheat on each other), Consensual Sex, Degradation, Degrading (Slutshaming But Not In A Harmful Way To Rey), Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Play, Dom/sub Undertones, Double Penetration, Double Penetration in Two Holes, Eventual Smut, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Consent, F/M, Fuck That Let Her Hear, Handcuffs, In Fact Let Her Watch, In Fact She Loves It, Light Dom/sub, Masturbation with sex toys, Open (Happy) Ending, Oral Sex, Porn, Porn With A Little Plot If You Squint, Praise Kink, Rey Doesn’t Get Pregnant, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey is a size queen, Rough Sex, Safewords, Sane and Consensual, Sex, Sex Toys, Shameless Smut, Size Kink, Slight Voyeurism, Smut, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unsafe Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, ben cheats on bazine, ben solo has a huge cock, explicit - Freeform, graphic smut, pregnancy mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:14:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28820556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacrednut/pseuds/sacrednut
Summary: "FUCK."Swiftly, Ben pulled out and lifted her into the air, the sudden change making her gasp. He balanced her in one arm and used the other to place the head of his cock at her pussy entrance, the dildo still buried in her ass.Is he going to fuck me with the dildo still in-?As if he was answering her question, he pressed a little inside with his eyes trained on her cunt. Adjusted to the darkness, he watched how he split her open; how much space he took between her thighs. She’d never felt anything like this, so full."Ben it's-" she winced, the discomfort more pleasure than pain."Shh. I know you can take it, little slut."
Relationships: Bazine Netal/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 26
Kudos: 167
Collections: My Roommate's Boyfriend





	shut your mouth (and run me like a river)

**Author's Note:**

> My contribution to My Roommate's Boyfriend: A Reylo Collection <3
> 
> Thank you to my amazing betas (Lala, Danica and Lexi), ILY all so much. Double thank you to Lala for the moodboard!
> 
> This fic is largely based on a [tweet by bee](https://twitter.com/justsunshinerey/status/1345873361042366464) and [art by Mrs Manscupia](https://twitter.com/MrsMancuspia/status/1332087186053849091) (rent free on my mind 24/7)!
> 
> PS. I highly recommend listening to the song ["Do It For Me" - Rosenfeld](https://open.spotify.com/track/34vCWXqZ0NkVJEiBlbJHoA?si=I6FXEEtyQHyH3fycWZuiUg) while reading the smut bits, I'll add a little ** as a sign of when you should start playing it <3

__

_Give me your hand_

_I’ll show you things you’ve never done_

_Hold my head_

_I’ll make you feel like never before_

_“Do It For Me” - Rosenfeld_

* * *

The insistent alarm on her phone made Rey clench her fists. 

_Fucking assholes._

She took a deep breath before putting her customer service mask back on, and walked to the table that had urgently requested her. Her phone notified her with the number of the table that was calling, but she knew who it was without having to look. 

The _regulars_.

They were spoiled elitists with rich daddies, soon-to-inherit their family’s fortune and the country’s future, including the working class like her. 

_Apparently, money can’t buy manners._

They were, by far, the loudest and most rambunctious customers in the fancy restaurant Rey worked at as a waitress. The raucous laughter and disastrous chaos that accompanied them were tolerated with put-upon smiles from the staff, who knew that any one of them could get sacked with just a snap of the money-coated fingers from a _regular_.

Rey offered a forced smile as she reached their table. 

“Yes? Is there anything I can help you with, Sir?”

She ignored the lusty scrutiny of the polo-clad frat boys sitting at the table. One time, one of them had sent a plate crashing to the floor just to watch her pick up his mess and take a better look at her ass and tits. At least she _had_ gotten a juicy tip after that.

Since then, Rey wore the loosest blouses, completely buttoned up.

“I didn’t call for you, idiot,” the red-haired one, and apparently the leader of their little gang, answered while holding the restaurant’s tablet and without sparing her a single glance. His buddies laughed, joining in on the insult.

Rey bit the inside of her cheek. 

_I need the money. Be nice. He's not worth it._

“I see, Sir. Must have been an error on my phone,” she answered politely, fully knowing they had asked for her through the tablet (a feature every table had) like their personal puppet. Rey sent him a tight smile before turning on her heels and walking away.

She was almost halfway back to the kitchen when she was called again.

“Hey, you!”

_Fuck._

“Yes, Sir?” Rey said with fake politeness, dragging her feet back to the table.

“Since you wanted to bother us so badly, repeat tonight’s specials,” he demanded.

That was the fourth time they had asked her in the span of an hour. Never using a please or thank you. Rey started to suspect they were trying every random way to get her to crack. 

_I won’t give them the satisfaction._

“Tonight we offer clam chowder, lobster ravioli and slow-roasted lamb chops, Sir.” She smiled, but felt dead inside.

The customer sighed dramatically. “What a disgrace. Bring us the clam chowder. And three more bottles of those.” He pointed to the empty beer bottles on the table, half of the contents soaked into the fancy tablecloth.

“Right away, Sir,” she said through gritted teeth and picked up the numerous containers in a white knuckled grip before turning away.

While she waited for their orders to be prepared, her boss informed her that her shift was done once she had finished with the douchey table. Despite the restaurant not being completely full, and it being late in the evening, dishes were taking a little more time than usual to be prepared. Rey tried to deliver the food as fast as she could, placing the plates in front of each of the drunken assholes, which was hard work considering the catastrophic state of the table. 

A few minutes after delivering the last plate, she was called _again_.

“Yes, Sir?” She sighed, exhausted, looking at the silverware and the broken crystal cups spread on the floor.

_Another mess to clean._

“Pick that up,” he pointed to the floor, licking his lips. 

From the implication alone, Rey was sure that she would’ve thrown up a little under other circumstances. Instead, she tried her best to pick everything up without getting on all fours in front of the lecherous men.

“There’s a problem with the food,” one of them said while Rey collected the spoons near the table’s foot. 

_Of course there is. An imaginary problem that’s going to make me have to serve all new dishes for you all, isn’t it?_

Rey raised her head, still kneeling on the floor.

“Yes, Sir?”

“It's cold.”

Before she could stand up, or even realize his intentions, Rey was doused with a bowl of cold clam chowder. Her face, hair, and blouse were dripping.

Ears ringing and soaked in clam chowder, Rey cleaned her eyes with a dry corner of her too-long blouse. She looked at the plate in her hands, vaguely conscious of the howling laughter coming from the _regulars_.

_What were the odds of getting away with it if I broke the plate in half and stabbed them to death?_

She sighed.

_Too many witnesses. Not great._

Rey’s supervisor, Kaydel, touched her shoulder and muttered in her ear, “Go home, Rey. I’ll finish the shift.”

“Are you sure?”

“Completely. Go home, I’ll wrap this up.”

  
  


-o-

  
  


Rey took the subway and practically ran to her apartment. She didn’t particularly want to be there, since her insufferable roommate, Bazine, would probably be there. But Rey was dying to get the seafood stink out of her hair and clothes.

Worse yet, she’d probably be with her sort-of-boyfriend, Ben Solo. He was just another one of _them_. Just an heir to one of the country’s wealthiest families, with a smug smile and hair always fucking perfectly set in place as if he’d just gotten out of the salon.

Rey sneaked into the apartment and, thankfully, her roommate wasn’t getting railed in the living room. Bazine was alone painting her toenails a horrible neon green.

“Bazine.”

She tilted her head in recognition, but didn’t bother to reciprocate.

“Please tell me you called the landlord today?”

Bazine shrugged while removing a little excess on one of her toes.

Baz intoned, “I don’t know why I have to be the one to call him. It’s _your_ issue. Call him yourself, lazy.”

_In Baz-speak, lazy means bitch.._

Rey robotically put on her customer service voice. “ _Your_ name is on the lease, remember? That means the landlord only answers to you, not me.” 

Bazine didn’t answer.

“Please? I don’t want to keep waiting. It’s just a lock,” she pleaded.

Bazine finally looked up at Rey. “If it’s just a lock, do it yourself. I won’t suck his dick over a stupid lock.” Bazine scrunched her nose in disgust. “You absolutely stink, you’re ruining my aura.”

_Just a month, just a month until I can move out._

“Is there any food?” Rey asked, already knowing the answer.

“Dunno,” Baz shrugged. “Just bring leftovers from the restaurant if you’re so hungry.”

_I would, but they threw the food all over me._

With another heavy sigh, Rey opened the bathroom door letting the heat out of a steam-filled room. When her vision cleared, a tall, muscular figure had his back turned to her. He was dripping wet from a recent shower. Rey stared at a very naked and very aroused Ben Solo as he languidly stroked his cock in front of the mirror. She may have stared too long before taking action.

“Shit! Fuck, Ben!” Rey screamed covering her eyes with one hand; her heart pounded, cheeks reddened, and mouth… filled with saliva.

_He's so big._

Ben chuckled, completely relaxed, and he reached over to remove the hand clasped over her eyes. Rey stared at his long fingers, almost twice as long as hers and wrapped firmly around her wrist. He leaned in close, as if he knew that a pool of heat burned in her lower belly. His wet hair dripped onto her neck. Burning hazel eyes that seemed to know every single one of her filthy thoughts connected with hers.

And then he ruined everything by opening his mouth.

“You know, when I said I liked eating seafood I didn’t mean you should bathe in it,” he purred, teasing. “I’d eat you out, with or without the smell. No need to make such an effort for me.”

He smirked, leaning in closer. “I’ll show you things you’ve _never_ done or even _thought_ of,” he claimed with complete confidence.

He looked at her with amusement, as if he’d figured out something Rey didn’t want to admit. He was testing her, trying to see whether she would give into him, and she hadn’t exactly passed.

_You're just another one of them. I can recognize you a mile away._

She had to wait hand and foot on his kind every single week, not by choice. But, unlike all the others, she could actually send him to hell without losing her job. 

“Shut your mouth,” she snapped, grabbing his clothes off the counter and throwing them at him before pushing him outside to slam the door shut on his smirking face. She breathed out, happy to finally be alone.

After a speedy lukewarm shower (Baz and Ben had used almost all the hot water) where she scrubbed from head to toe with Baz's fancy soap without any remorse or sense of guilt, Rey walked into the kitchen wearing only a thin t-shirt and sporting raccoon-like eyes from the remaining makeup smudged on her face. 

Hanging inside the fridge door, Rey examined the contents. She had purchased a bag of apples yesterday. She was in such a rush that she'd forgotten to hide them in her room along with the rest of the food that didn't need to refrigerate. Now, every single bright green apple taunted her with clearly visible bite marks. No, not even a bite, just the hideously nasty impression of teeth. It was as if someone had tried to decide which was sweetest before picking one.

_What the fuck?_

"Baz," Rey called to the living room, "why do all my apples have teeth marks?" 

Not getting an answer, Rey peeked into the living room while still holding the fridge door open. Baz had her back to Rey as she rode Ben's thigh in slow, controlled movements. His mouth was on her ear. Probably why Baz hadn't heard Rey’s question. As if she had said Ben’s name out loud, he looked up and directly into Rey's hazel eyes. He nibbled Baz's lobe, never breaking eye contact with Rey, trying to prove a point. 

“I could make you feel _so_ good,” he growled loud enough for Rey to hear, with his dark eyes never leaving hers. Baz whimpered, but Rey knew those words weren’t for the girl on his lap.

She couldn’t help her reaction to the intimate scene, despite both of them being fully clothed. He smirked, noticing Rey's hard nipples under her loose t-shirt. Baz's whimpers escalated in volume when Ben's large hands on her waist grinded her harder and faster on his thigh. Rey’s hand holding the fridge door clenched, her knuckles turning white. 

_Baz doesn’t deserve to feel that good._

She didn’t deserve to have his hands driving her higher and higher. He could be a smug asshole most of the time, but if her screams at night were any indication then he wasn’t just big. He was good, too.

Rey closed the fridge door, grabbing a spoon from one of the drawers and heading to her room. Thanks to Baz, her door didn’t close all the way and the lock didn’t work.

_Fuck._

She just needed a little something, something to take the edge off. Something to remind her that there were still good things in life, despite her awful job and shitty living situation. Rey knew what she needed, but she would have to wait until Baz and Ben left for one of their parties before even humoring the idea.

While she waited, she put on her headphones to watch a movie. She ate spoonfuls from the giant peanut butter jar she’d carefully hidden in her secret stash. All of it was a poor substitute for what she really needed.

A few minutes later, Baz opened her bedroom door without knocking to unceremoniously announce that she was on her way out and wouldn’t be back till late. Baz obviously didn’t care if Rey heard her through the headphones or not. Rey nodded to Baz’ retreating back. She paused the movie and waited to hear the click of the front door closing before she grabbed what she needed from under her pillow.

Handcuffs, lube and a bright blue dildo.

Switching off all the lights, Rey laid on the bed, belly up, with a pillow under her ass to reach a better angle. She closed her eyes and slowly slid her fingers over her chest, pinching her nipples.

_I’ll show you things you’ve never done..._

It didn’t matter that she was thinking of him, she told herself. She was only picturing him because she had just seen him. Nothing else.

And then, it wasn’t her fingers parting her pussy lips and circling her clit. In her imagination, she could pretend she was under him, at his complete and utterly arrogant mercy. Just a toy for him to use, just a set of holes for him to stretch, just a slut for him, and him only.

Feeling the first waves of pleasure flooding her belly, she stopped rubbing herself. After all, this was just the preview. She wanted more, so much more. With nervous excitement, she covered the toy with a copious amount of the strawberry lube to ensure that it was entirely coated before positioning it at her ass.

Inch by inch, the rather small toy entered her completely. She was full, but somehow it wasn’t enough. Holding the toy inside, Rey cuffed her hands together. Now, wrists bound, one hand was thrusting the dildo into her ass while the other fingered her pussy. Her lips parted, moaning his name and panting as she increased her pace. In her fantasy, he was fucking her within an inch of her life, he was grunting in her ear to take it like a good little w-

In the blink of an eye, her bedroom door opened. “Hey.”

Rey froze at the sound of Ben’s voice. 

He was standing in the doorway, his figure blocking the hallway light from coming into the room. She wanted to ask why he was in the apartment without Baz, why he had entered her room without knocking, or what the hell was so goddamn important that he had the right to barge into the bedrooms of unsuspecting females. She couldn’t, though. She was stunned into silence.

When she didn’t say anything, he continued. 

“I came back to apologise. I know you and I joke around and shit,” he shrugged. 

Thanking the heavens above, Rey sighed in relief, reassured that he hadn’t heard her moaning his name and that he couldn’t see her prone body in the total darkness. She still felt small and vulnerable with her hands hooked together and her butt stuffed to the brim, she had to get rid of him.

_Please go away._

“And that thing earlier. I… you were having a shit day and I shouldn’t have pushed you, but why the fuck did you stay? In the bathroom? And the living room? That keeps bothering me,” he huffed.

“It’s fine,” Rey managed to squeak, “just… I want to be alone.”

“Are you okay? You sound funny,” Ben said and she watched with a sense of impending doom as he reached for the lightswitch.

“I’M FINE!” she shouted. “It’s just… I have the most smashing headache right now!” _That wasn’t even half a lie._

“Oh… okay, then. I’ll leave you to rest.” Ben’s hand stopped reaching for the light switch as he moved to close the door.

Everything suddenly happened so fast, Rey relaxed and felt the dildo slip out of her ass with a resounding squelching sound.

Ben paused.

_Shit!_

It was at that moment that Rey realized, with a shock to her system, that she’d been using her glow-in-the-dark dildo. Said dildo was currently glowing bright blue on her sheets between her spread legs.

Ben realized what he was looking at almost immediately. 

She wasn’t sure what came over her. The way he looked at her… The way Baz didn’t deserve what he offered… The way he owed her for being _such_ a prick...

_Fuck it._

Rey didn’t allow herself to think before she reached for the dildo and widened her legs. He walked towards her as if hypnotized. His long fingers reached for the dildo held tightly in her cuffed hands. His fingertips pressed the toy against her ass, prodding her rosebud.

“There’s no fucking way that’s enough for you,” he muttered, grabbing it from her grasp. “Tell me what you want, Rey.”

“I want you,” she heard herself admit.

Ben nodded, as if he already knew the answer. He grabbed the handcuffs in one hand and used the other to stroke a finger along her naked ankle, making her shiver. Ben smirked. “I’m not one to be soft and slow, Rey. I’m going to fuck you hard enough to make you cry. Can you handle that?”

Her mouth watered. “Y-yes,” she choked out.

“Good girl,” he purred. “Do you have a safe word?”

“I don’t need a-”

“You do. Choose one.” He didn’t budge. He waited, and she was pinned beneath his dark, examining eyes.

“Apple.”

Abruptly, Rey felt the bed dip with his weight in the darkness.

“I’ll stop if you use it,” he reassured. “Get on all fours, whore.”

**

She did the best she could while struggling with the restraints, but he clicked his tongue. His hands found the auto release button on the cuffs and freed one of her hands. He pushed her head into the bed and grabbed both her wrists behind her back, exposing her ass and pussy to him.

“I want you all tied up and still for me,” he said in a raspy tone while slowly caressing her asshole with his tongue and making her whimper. “Such a slut. I can taste the strawberries on you… delicious,” he concluded with another obscene tonguing, deeper than before. The lewd sounds he made eating her ass had her panting, unable to catch her breath. Rey arched her back, the sensations too much and all happening in complete darkness. 

After almond joying the hell out of her, he pulled back. “You definitely weren’t fucking that pretty pussy with your filthy little toy, were you?”

Her mind was blank, unable to register what he’d said. Without warning, he slapped her ass. Rey gasped, the sting of it lingering and making her writhe in its wake. 

“Answer me when I ask a question.”

“N-no, I wasn’t.”

He pressed a finger into her cunt, curving it inside of her to rub her inner walls. “What were you doing?”

She whimpered, “I-I was fucking my ass and fingering my pussy.”

He smirked, thrusting a second finger inside her cunt while tapping her asshole with a wet thumb. "Dirty little whore just wants all of her holes full, hmm?" 

" _Fuck,_ Ben, please-"

"I'm not even fucking you yet and you're already begging? You make it too easy, sweetheart. Don’t think for a second that you’re going to get to cum on anything besides my cock." 

Rey felt his urgency in the rough way he locked her wrists together behind her back with the handcuffs and pressed her head more firmly into the mattress. He spat on her already dripping holes; the harsh, hot splatter of his saliva hitting her so suddenly that she flinched in delighted shock. 

Ben pressed the tip of the dildo to her ass. A slow, steady stretch at a more extreme angle than before. She moaned, seeking more and prompting him to move behind her. 

"Fuck, you're drenched. Clench. Hold it there for me."

She did as told and kept the toy tight in the ring of her anus as he flipped her over onto her back. Brutally, he pulled her hips to his face. His tongue drove to part her lips and circle her clit while thrusting two fingers ruthlessly in and out of her weeping cunt. Rey mewled so loudly, any other time she’d be embarrassed, but she was delirious with pleasure and relishing the stretch of his fingers. His sinful fingers, so much bigger than hers. 

"Please, Ben, please, I'm so clo-" 

He tsked and pulled his fingers from her pussy. "I told you. You only get to come on my cock."

"Fuck me, Ben," she pleaded desperately.

She expected for him to remove the dildo. Instead, he lifted her upright and towards the headboard like she weighed nothing at all. In another second, he brought the chain of the handcuffs over the top of one of the bars to keep her where he wanted her. She panted, loved the feeling of being helpless and at his mercy. 

Rey found that he’d removed his clothes in the time that he’d spent blowing her mind with his expert analingus skills. All of a sudden, his cock was pressed to her lips. 

"Not yet, relax that perfect little mouth for me."

He groaned when she opened her mouth in invitation, stuck out her tongue for him to see how much she wanted his rigid length in her mouth. He seemed awed by the sight, so she used her tongue to twirl around the tip. He was jolted back to reality and forcibly pushed into her waiting mouth. She tried to relax her jaw to take as much of him as she could. He was salty and tangy, a musky scent emanating from his trimmed pubes. 

Ben held her head, and slowly but firmly pressed his massive cock into the back of her throat, bringing tears to her eyes. He fucked her face as if that was her sole purpose in life. Just a set of holes for him to fill. She couldn't get enough.

"So.. fucking.. good.. for.. me," he thrusted. 

Rey preened and hollowed her cheeks, making sure to keep eye contact with his dark and burning gaze and eagerly sucking him as deep as she could. 

" _FUCK_."

Swiftly, Ben pulled out and lifted her into the air, the sudden change making her gasp. He balanced her in one arm and used the other to place the head of his cock at her pussy entrance, the dildo still buried in her ass. 

_Is he going to fuck me with the dildo still in-?_

As if he was answering her question, he pressed a little inside with his eyes trained on her cunt. Adjusted to the darkness, he watched how he split her open; how much space he took between her thighs. She’d never felt anything like this, so full.

"Ben it's-" she winced, the discomfort more pleasure than pain.

"Shh. I know you can take it, little slut." 

He took the air out of her lungs with every inch, making his way impossibly deep and filling spaces Rey didn't know existed inside of her. A choked sob came out of her throat when she felt his balls finally touch her ass. The weight of his heavy sac rocked the dildo inside her and increased the gratification she felt. 

"That's it, Rey." He soothed under his breath. He held still so she could get used to the stretch. "Are you okay?" 

"Yes," she breathed. 

"Do you want me to move?" 

"Yes."

They both grunted in relief at the same time when he pulled back and slammed home, with a strong thrust that charged Rey's body with electricity from her toes to her head. 

"Look at you," he gasped out while thrusting in a punishing rhythm that made Rey's eyes roll to the back of her head as tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. "So full of _my_ cock."

"Please, Ben," she moaned, louder. _Close, so close._

"Shh. What if Bazine comes back early, hmm?" 

_Fuck that. Let her hear. Let her see._

"Oh, yeah? You want everyone to know what a filthy little slut you are for me, don't you?" He asked as a wet thumb rapidly rubbed her clit in tight circles. 

She had said it out loud, unknowingly, but Rey was too far gone to care. She was too far gone to care about the drool on her cheek, or the volume of her voice as she moaned his name while climbing to her release with every hard thrust. 

Something about the idea of being caught must have incited him to fuck her even harder, deeper. He rammed into her with abandon, the toy twisted up inside her ass rocking and overwhelming her senses. 

"That's it, baby, come on my cock."

"Fuck... Ben," Rey cried as her pussy viciously clenched around him as if she was trying to drag him to the abyss with her. 

He worked her through it, not stopping even when she spasmed with overstimulation. Ben thrusted again and again, slamming home with violence. 

"B-Ben," she hiccupped.

"One more, Rey," he grunted almost desperately, and adjusted her body’s position in such a way that every thrust hit a spot inside of her that sent shivers spiraling down her spine. 

She opened her mouth to say that she couldn't, that she was still coming down from the first one, but her words stuck in her throat. He moved his hand behind her and started to pump the dildo in her ass while he increased the rhythm of his thrusts, chasing his own release. It was raw, uninhibited, everything she wanted and needed.

A teary, mouth-opened-in-a-gasp orgasm later, Rey was barely conscious. She felt like a rag doll, all used up until she had nothing left to give. She was vaguely aware of Ben finishing with a grunt and even less aware of how he kissed her forehead, unlocked her wrists, pulled out and gently removed the dildo from inside her ass. 

Ben scooped her up into his arms and carried her from the bedroom to the shower. He gingerly put her down and checked to see if she could stand. When her legs went all wobbly, he held her in his arms under the warm water and bathed her with his free hand. Rey rested her head against his chest, slowly breathing in and out, and listened to his heartbeat. 

They had never done this before, never exchanged more than a few snarky comments, but it felt strangely familiar. The way he dried, untangled and braided her hair in silence while he peppered little reverent kisses on her tired neck and shoulders was so different from his perpetually smug attitude towards her.

As if he was in awe. As if he made her content.

He never stopped giving her reassuring touches, comforting her in the quiet of the empty apartment as he slowly guided her back to reality. When Ben brought her a plate with slices of the bright green apples and attentively fed them to her with great care, Rey sat between his legs, reality hit her hard enough to knock the wind out of her lungs. 

This Ben was _too_ perfect. _Too_ good. This Ben was someone she could maybe fall in love with one day. Someone who could break her apart when he inevitably left.

"Ben."

He kissed her temple. "Hmm?" 

She withdrew from his touch and his eyes filled with hurt.

"Ben, did you pull out?" 

"No," he answered, confused.

His answer was like a bucket of ice water. Rey jumped out of the bed and winced from the ache of her sore pussy. 

"What _the fuck_ do you mean _‘no’_?" 

"I didn't- You didn't tell me-" 

"Oh, so, I didn't tell you. And that means you can do whatever the fuck you want?" 

He opened and closed his mouth. 

"Rey, I'm sorry. I didn't think-" 

"No. You never do, do you? You don't think.” Rey paced, "You’re just-" and cursed herself for being so irresponsible. "Ugh!" 

"I'm what, Rey?" he interrupted her tirade, but sounded genuinely curious.

"You're just a piece of shit, like all of those guys at the restaurant. You live a life of fucking privilege, never had to think because you could pay someone else to do that for you. Never had to work a day in your life," she shook her head. "And what _if_ I get pregnant, Ben? What then? For you it's just a check to write every month. For me it's another failure, another mistake-" 

Rey stopped as her eyes prickled with tears. She was aware that she was unfairly laying her lifetime of frustrations squarely and solely on him, but she couldn't stop. Fear could do that to a person. 

" _This_ was a mistake," she informed him, and his hazel eyes filled with anguish. 

"Don't do this, Rey. Don't push me away."

"You should go. Now."

He shook his head, but did as she asked and grabbed his clothes. He hesitated, clearly wanting to kiss her forehead but Rey crossed her arms over her chest recoiling from the contact. 

Ben sighed, and left her alone in her messy room. 

Rey cried herself to sleep, scolding herself for getting so carried away in the heat of the moment and for not considering the consequences. Before she passed out, she decided to go to the pharmacy first thing tomorrow morning. 

However, when she woke up, it wasn't necessary. In the light of day, perched delicately atop her nightstand there was a little "Plan B" box along with a note. 

_‘I'm so sorry. You deserve better.’_

Rey crushed the note in her fist. She swallowed her irritation and the pill with the glass of water by her bed and went to get some breakfast. 

Bazine was munching toast while scrolling on her phone. "Hey, have you seen Ben? Did he come here last night?" 

Rey white-knuckled the coffee mug she held. "No," she lied with a small measure of difficulty. "Why?" 

"He broke up with me, at the party last night, told me he would come by to get his jacket but I guess he never did," she shrugged, still eating. 

"I'm sorry you broke up." This lie she told with ease. 

"I don't care, really. I've been fucking other guys since we've been together, so..." Baz shrugged again, careless.

Rey narrowed her eyes in disdain. 

_One month, just one month before I can leave this hellhole._

  
  


**A MONTH LATER**

Rey was packing the last of her boxes in the kitchen when someone knocked at the front door. 

"I'll get it," Bazine yelled. 

Rey rolled her eyes, marking a box with a Sharpie. As if she wanted to open the door to the parade of men of all shapes and sizes that visited Baz.

She heard Bazine open the door. 

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? A dog coming back with its tail between its legs?" 

"I'm not here for you, Bazine," said a deep, masculine voice with condescension. Rey peeked from the kitchen. 

He looked very different without the fancy clothes he always wore. They were replaced with a green Starbucks apron and a name tag that he had clearly forgotten to take off before leaving work. His hair wasn't carefully trimmed and blown to perfection. And the smug smile he always flashed to her had been replaced with a shyer one. The smile he shot her was a weird combination of pride and hesitation, like he didn’t know how she would react.

"I came to see you," Ben said, and stared beseechingly into her hazel eyes. 

Rey smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3
> 
> [author's twitter](https://twitter.com/sacred_nut?s=09)


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